Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, soccer fans of all ages, introducing If You’re Not First, You’re Last (IYNFYL)!
This is no ordinary team. We’re a squad built on speed, determination, and a whole lot of spunk. Instead of racing cars, we’re racing for victory. We’ve got players who don’t know the meaning of “slow down.” From the goalkeeper with reflexes sharper than a NASCAR pit crew, to the strikers who’ll leave defenders eating their dust – this team is about one thing: winning. So buckle up, because when we take the field, it’s going to be an all-out, pedal-to-the-metal ride. Like a spider monkey, we’re out to kick some grass and take home that trophy! Boogity boogity boogity!
And if you don’t chew Big Red, then f— you!
##### Premier Division – Spring 2025 Season
Your Attractive Heading
Our Crew Chiefs: Michael “SHAKE” Hennessy Duane “EL DIABLO” Nakamura Gregory “I’M ON FIRE” Potter
Our crew for this season:
Aaron “MAGIC MAN“ Perkins Alastair “AUTOGRAPH MODE“ Brewer Alec “PEYOTE” Kinczewski Amy “I WANNA GO FAST” Tomtan Chris “WALKER” Acelar Danny “BENCH WARMER” Zaragoza Edwin “ANARCHY” Khoo Girish “GT” Tejwani Jake “BAKE” Callaghan Jared “SLINGSHOT ENGAGED” Smith Jonathan “BABY J” Barrera-Calix Preston “TUXEDO JESUS” Hollis Ray “BOOGITY BOOGITY BOOGITY” Irizarry Shiva “SIVARAMAN” Sitaraman Tim “I’M ALL JACKED UP ON MT. DEW” Eilerman Substitute Drivers: SPIDER MONKEY I LOVE CREPES PSYCHOSOMATIC DUSTY OLD FART FIGHTING CHICKEN